When I started this blog, I intended it to be focused on improving one’s mental health. I had a lot to say on the subject. I am an intellectual-izer (I made that word up just now) and, once diagnosed in my twenties with Major Depression and PTSD, had made it my life’s mission to learn about the mental illnesses that plagued me and stopped me from living the life I wanted. I became an armchair expert, which I will not discount— I don’t generally think a lack of formal education makes one’s expertise invalid, after all.

But recently, in my journeys with psychodynamic therapy and actually improving from my treatment for the first time, I have realized that I don’t actually know all that much about mental health. This Beginner’s Mind (or Socratean realization that I only know that I know nothing) has helped me make strides in my recovery by reminding me not to be set in my ways. Knowledge is not necessarily wisdom, and knowing the difference between dopamine and serotonin did not make me any happier or more functional. Obviously, despite all my research, I still had a lot to learn, and I want this blog to reflect that.

From now on, this blog will be loosely themed around becoming a better person. There will still be poems and book reviews and other musings and anything I feel like publishing (tbh), but I have decided I want to take the “meat and potatoes” of the blog in a new direction. There will probably still be a lot of stuff about mental and emotional health, but I also want to write about stuff like:

social justice (especially transgender issues)
being your true, authentic self
learning (both formally and informally)
anti-capitalist ethics and leftism
setting and achieving goals
healthy masculinity and what it means to be a man
healthy relationships (especially polyamory)
getting organized (especially Bullet Journaling)

On to my credentials: I have none. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist. I am not an influencer or a wildly successful business owner. I am just someone who has struggled to improve himself over the course of about 10 years.

A note on money: My job doesn’t pay all that well, but I make enough to survive. Write Mind will never involve affiliate marketing, selling ads, or upselling (beyond basic SEO to get my words seen by people who could use them). The point of Write Mind is not to make money. Any money I make will be from Patreon, in which subscribers can contribute donations freely and without coercion. If I make any resources or downloads, they will be free for anyone to use and not require an email list sign-up. If you appreciate my content and would like to be someone who helps me out, I’d love that!

If you’d like to be part of my journey, please stick around to read more!

So you’ve decided your life isn’t working for you and you want to make changes.

Go to therapy.

Yes, you can go to therapy even if you’re not mentally ill. A good therapist will be able to help you in all your self-improvement endeavors and be by your side as you decide what exactly you want to improve. It’s great knowing someone is always on your team!

Set goals and intentions.

Maybe you already have ideas of what you want to improve about yourself. That’s great! Make them formal by writing them down. Give yourself half an hour and a blank sheet of paper and write down absolutely anything you can think of that you would want to improve!

If you don’t have any ideas yet, identify your goals and intentions by identifying your problems first. Maybe you don’t feel great about your appearance, or you find yourself acting like an asshole in your closest relationships. Then, brainstorm (mind map?) solutions.

To me, goals are measurable, while intentions are not. There’s a lot of focus on goals, but intentions can still be useful— by reminding you of an attitude you want to embody or something you want to prioritize that isn’t measurable, like quality time with your family.

Journal with purpose.

Journals can be a lot of things. Many people use them to simply record life events, but journaling with the express purpose of self-improvement can be a lot more useful.

You can look up daily prompts to use to reflect on themes in your life as a whole, or you can log what you did to improve yourself each day. Of course, you can mix the two. Writing about your self-improvement wins may encourage you to keep going!

Also: keep a list of your goals and intentions from the previous step IN your journal for frequent perusal.

Rethink your relationships.

Obviously, we cannot change anyone. What we can do is decide if certain relationships belong in our life or not.

If you have someone in your life that isn’t making you happy, I recommend gently talking out your problems with this person first. (You may want to journal-brainstorm what those problems are before this conversation.) Give them a chance to improve themselves and then re-evaluate.

If you’ve already tried to work things out with someone who isn’t making an effort to change, it may be time to step back.

On the other hand, YOU may be the problem in certain relationships. In that case, it is still important to have a conversation with the other person. Be honest with yourself and them about what you need to improve, and then make a genuine effort. Check in frequently about how they feel about your effort.

Take care of your physical health.

I don’t mean that you need to run a marathon. I do mean taking walks as per your ability, eating reasonably, staying hydrated, and going to the doctor if you can. You will feel better, and be better able to show up to your life’s responsibilities.

Figure out what you care about and do it.

Everyone human (and most pets too) needs to have a role to play to feel fulfilled. This could be related to a full-time career or it could be as simple as watering and taking care of your plants.

Make another brainstorming page in your journal and write down what you care about most. This doesn’t have to be extensive— maybe you only truly care about a few people, activities, or causes.

Maybe your career isn’t something you care about anymore. Do you want to change careers or do you want to keep your “day job” and do something you care about on the side? It’s up to you.

Whatever you decide you care about, make a plan for fitting it into your day.

Learn about privilege.

Part of improving yourself is improving the world around you, and learning about how you play into systems of oppression can do just that.

It can be really hurtful and hard to realize that you’ve been unintentionally harming people, but this is an exercise in empathy and de-centering your own experience. We all have blind spots.

Start small— decide to read one book about systemic oppression, or follow some social justice activists who are different from you on social media. Take up an attitude of gentle curiosity, even if you’re feeling resistant to what you read.

Expect this to be a lifetime endeavor.

To avoid overwhelming yourself when carrying out any of these steps, remind yourself that progress is incremental. This might be hard to hear, but improving yourself never really ends. You might reach a lot of your goals but you will always have something else to work on. That might be hard to hear, but it can also be really fun to keep experimenting and find what works for you!